Unlocking your confidence
by Sarah Burns MBE, Chair of Smart Works Reading
At Smart Works Reading, we support our clients as individuals. Each has her own skills to share and barriers to overcome in her job search. The one thing our clients have in common is a lack of confidence. We are here to rebuild self-belief and support women back to work.
“I can do this”
Our goal is always to really unlock a woman’s confidence, which is a really amazing thing to see. Clothes can help a woman feel like the best version of herself at a very important time in her life. There’s a moment when she looks in the mirror and think ‘maybe I can do this’. In helping women who come to us look the way they want to look and feel the way they want to feel through coaching, they’re able to grow in confidence and can begin to believe in themselves. Our job at Smart Works is to get that person to shine whilst feeling their true, and very best, selves.
For the 6 years I have been involved with Smart Works Reading, the thread that runs through everything we do and why we do it is confidence. Confidence and self-esteem are the starting blocks. With confidence on your side, you can develop an understanding of your wants and aims as well as a clear view of what you’re capable of.
Confidence top tips
Here are some of my top tips to help build confidence and self-esteem Remember nothing is instant, and you will need to work on some or all of these regularly, but end results are positive and rewarding.
Challenge your inner critic
It is not uncommon to experience unhelpful thoughts which can lead us to being negative about ourselves, particularly when compared with others who we perceive to be more successful. Ensure that when you experience such thoughts, you allow yourself time and space to reflect. Evaluate those that you feel may be valid and discard of those that are unfounded and unhelpful. Self-awareness is often the first step in helping you shift your belief about yourself.
This is one of the hardest to conquer but maybe with the highest reward. (I am still working on this).
Be your own best friend
I am sure if you asked your best friend or family to tell you positives attributes you have, they could reel off many. But could you? Start by telling yourself that you have a lot to offer, positive self-talk is very powerful and if you really want to challenge yourself, tell yourself about the things like; ‘I will be successful in my next job’ or ‘I know I have valuable skills to offer’.
I keep a list of skills I have and things I value about myself on my phone so when I have a “wobble” I can read them and remind myself.
Preparation and hard work
If you’ve never done something before (or had a negative experience when doing it), your confidence in that activity won’t be high. You’ll be nervous, and probably judge yourself, (back to that inner critic). For me confidence comes with preparation, focus, commitment and doing something repeatedly with passion.
After I have prepared and researched, I have a few little rituals that just add the finishing touches to my “confidence cape”.
· Play motivating music — that favourite or powerful song that evokes memories of success, confidence (“Pink” is one of my go to’s)
· Spray of my favourite perfume — It makes me feel ready for action, especially when someone notices and passes positive comment.
Think about the physical andpractical
Over the years I have tried to look at the people around me that I think of as confident and identify what it is that makes them appear confident before I have even spoken to them. It might be the strong way they walk into a room, eye contact or the tone and speed of the way they talk.
Try the following, which can give the impression of confidence:
· Walk tall — try to stand up straight and look ahead
· Speak slowly — people who are less confident tend to rush when they talk
· Wear brighter colours and clothes that make you feel good
· Don’t cross your arms– this is a posture that displays defensiveness or nervousness.
· Make eye contact when you talk — you can practice this by meeting someone’s eyes for three seconds, then looking away for one
Smart Works Reading allows you to grow in confidence and acceptance and feel comfortable in who you are, celebrating “you”. Getting to know and understand your skills, positive attributes and where you may need help and support.
Pay it forward
Supporting Smart Works Reading will help us to give confidence to more women in the Thames Valley, every donation of money, clothes or time helps us to continue the services we provide and make a difference. So please pay forward and give the gift of confidence.
